The Reality of Parenting Plans
The blog post below is summarized text from our podcast with Michelle Weinberg, “Parenting Plans and Child Custody”. You can watch the whole segment here.
When going through a divorce or separation, creating a parenting plan is a crucial step in ensuring that both parents and children are on the same page. However, it's important to keep in mind that life is unpredictable, and things don't always go as planned. That's why it's crucial to have a backup plan in case of unexpected changes.
At the heart of it, a parenting plan is a schedule that outlines when each parent has custody of the children. This can be as detailed or as flexible as the parents want, but having a basic plan in place is essential. For example, the plan may include which parent has the kids on weekdays and weekends, during school breaks, and holidays.
But what happens when life gets in the way? Maybe one parent's work schedule changes, or a child gets sick and needs to stay home from school. This is where having a backup plan comes in handy. Having a fallback plan can prevent disagreements and arguments between co-parents. Even if it's just a basic plan that outlines a general custody schedule, it's better than having nothing at all.
Michelle advises her clients to think of the parenting plan as a starting point. If changes need to be made, it's possible to do so on a case-by-case basis without having to go back to court. As long as both parents are in agreement, they have the flexibility to make adjustments as needed.
Of course, having a backup plan requires a certain level of flexibility and cooperation between co-parents. It's essential to approach the process with a mindset of compromise and understanding. As Michelle points out, there's no "parenting police" keeping tabs on custody schedules, so it's up to the parents to work together to create a plan that works for everyone.
Ultimately, the goal of a parenting plan is to provide stability and structure for children during a difficult time. While it may not always be easy to stick to the plan 100% of the time, having a backup plan in place can prevent unnecessary stress and conflict. So, when creating your parenting plan, remember to think ahead and be prepared for whatever life may throw your way.
When it comes to parenting plans, having a basic plan in place is important, as we discussed in the previous section. However, it's equally important to remember that plans are just that - plans. Life is unpredictable and circumstances change, so it's essential to be flexible and willing to make adjustments as needed.
In mediation, we focus on the facts of the situation and the quality of time spent with the children, rather than getting bogged down in specific terms or counting hours and minutes. What matters most is that both parents are involved in their children's lives and that the time spent with them is meaningful and fulfilling.
It's also important to remember that not every situation will be the same, and what works for one family may not work for another. That's why we steer away from the mindset that custody and parenting time have to be split 50/50 or adhere to a specific formula. Instead, we work with each family to create a plan that is realistic and tailored to their unique needs and circumstances.
While speaking with an attorney can be helpful to understand your legal rights, mediation can offer a more personalized approach to creating a parenting plan that works for your family. By focusing on collaboration and compromise, we can help you find a solution that meets everyone's needs and helps ensure a positive outcome for all involved.
